Film and TV are awash with explorations of the father-child relationship. I’m not here to dissect them all. There are some glaringly obvious ones that I’ve never even seen.
Like Boyhood – literally the epic portrayal of a boy’s intermittent relationship with his father filmed over twelve years. The Pursuit of Happyness, where Will Smith plays a struggling businessman who’s trying to raise his young boy while homeless. And of course, the Star Wars movie where Darth Vader says “Luke, I am your father.” (I’m currently working my way through those).
Nor am I here to wax lyrical about barely-believable ‘model’ fathers. In fact, some of the fictitious dads I mention here could be considered pretty atrocious fathers. When I say ‘best on-screen dad moments’, I mean moments where I find the fictitious father truly, deeply relatable.
There are only two criteria for the dads on this list: they’ve appeared in something I’ve seen and enjoyed, and something about them resonated with me, whether it was positive or negative.
So without further ado, let’s have a look at these distinctive dads.
Daniel Hillard – Mrs Doubtfire
One of the more obvious choices on the list – everyone knows the story of the American dad who poses as an elderly British housekeeper to gain access to his kids, immortalised by Robin Williams. Sadly, many families go through the pain of an acrimonious divorce, with dads sometimes on the receiving end of unfair treatment, leading to less time with their kids.
As Daniel’s scheme leads him into increasingly ludicrous situations, it does raise the question – If someone stopped you from seeing your kids, what lengths would you go to to get them back?
Mufasa – The Lion King
Powerful, wise and kind, Mufasa was a proper dad. Which makes his tragic demise all the more heart-wrenching. I’ve mentioned it before in a previous post. However, it’s perhaps a less notable scene that speaks to the father in me.
When Simba almost gets himself killed after disobeying his father’s instructions, Mufasa gives him the hard word. But he doesn’t stay angry for long, and they descend into playfights and laughter. It’s exactly the sort of thing I can see myself doing when Mia and Jude make bad choices, as all kids inevitably do. I can’t stay angry at them for long – they’re just too cute.
Big Chris – Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels
Yeah, strange one this. A guy who takes his young son along to robberies and assassinations is hardly the sort of father to look up to.
But it’s the scene where he finds his son in mortal peril that resonates with me. The ruthless gangster, Dog, has sneaked into Big Chris’s (played by Vinnie Jones) car and has a knife to Little Chris’s throat.
In what I think is a brilliantly understated bit of acting by Vinnie Jones, you can see him trying to keep his cool as the protective rage bubbles up inside of him. He drives off, pretending to follow Dog’s orders, before making the risky move of crashing his car in order to disable him. After a tense pause, Big Chris drags Dog out of the car and proceeds to savagely murder him by slamming his head in the car door several times.
It’s an intense scene, with Vinnie Jones in full Wimbledon Crazy Gang psycho mode. But that bubbling rage and extreme violence is something I think most fathers would feel if someone threatened their kids in such a way, which is why it’s on the list.
Gaz – Full Monty
Another guy who won’t win father of the year any time soon. Similar to Daniel in Mrs Doubtfire, it centres around a guy who’s been cut off from his kid and is resorting to desperate measures to get back into his life.
It’s a great film for many reasons. The characters all tread that fine line between comedy and tragedy. It was ahead of its time in its exploration of many issues such as male sexuality, male bodily insecurities, class struggles and of course, paternal rights.
Gaz needs to pay child support but is something of a deadbeat – won’t get a job, scuppers his mate’s chances of getting his life back on track, bitter about his ex-wife’s new relationship… But his sheer determination and at times, ingenuity in devising his indecent scheme is worthy of admiration, and gets him on this list.
Marlin – Finding Nemo
Marlin represents that urge we all have to wrap our kids up and protect them from the big horrid world out there. He’s hugely overprotective, to the point where it’s embarrassing for Nemo and clearly not good for his development.
This is understandable of course – Marlin’s wife and several hundred other children were mercilessly devoured, leaving his one surviving son with a horrific injury.
So when Nemo goes missing, Marlin must set out on an epic journey across the perilous ocean to find him. When the rescue is complete and Marlin finally learns to give Nemo have a bit of independence, it’s a beautiful moment.
It paints a great picture of that fine balance between keeping our kids safe and letting them live their lives.
Martin Crane – Frasier
The blunt and down-to-earth father of the pompous Frasier and Niles Crane gets on the list for two reasons.
Firstly, the relationship between Martin and his two boys is an insight into what life might be like if you simply had very little in common with your children. Frasier and Niles are both highly educated, vain snobs, while Martin, who’s been forced to move in with Frasier due to injury in the line of duty, is a simple fellow who likes nothing more than sitting in his ugly old armchair drinking beer and watching sports.
The friction between father and sons, who differ greatly in their interests and attitude to life, is one of the driving forces of the series. While many of us might like to think that our kids will grow up to be just like us and we’ll get along just fine, what if they don’t? What will you do if your kids’ views are the polar opposites of yours? How will you get along if you simply don’t like doing the same things?
As the series progressed, you gradually saw the mutual respect and pride start to develop, and they made it work despite their obvious differences, so there’s hope for all of us.
The second reason Martin Crane makes the list is that, despite Frasier and Niles’s qualifications, wealth and refinement, it’s often his common sense and earthy wisdom that resolves the many daft situations they find themselves in.
All fathers have to deal with the times when their kids think they know best. At the grand old age of four, Mia’s already demonstrated a penchant for this. So the teenage years will be fun… All we can do is guide them and help them learn from their cock-ups, as Martin does on many occasions.
Ned Stark – Game of Thrones
I’m going to finish off my list with two dads from one of my favourite shows. While they had a few things in common – leaders of powerful families, fathers of beautiful children, sufferers of grisly deaths – they’re both very different in their character and their reasons for making the list.
Firstly, the noble Eddard Stark. Some might say too noble, since his misplaced trust and refusal to break his vows led to his death, and years of anarchy.
Anyway, what I like about Ned (apart from the fact he’s played by Sean Bean, my idol) is the way he lets his kids be themselves. Particularly with Arya, the wonderfully wild tomboy who’d rather fight with sticks and chase cats than wear pretty dresses. He recognises that who she’s expected to be and who she actually is are very different. He doesn’t try to force her to change, even though his life would be a lot easier if she did.
Ned shows us that we need to look for our kids’ strengths and encourage them to be themselves as they grow up. Let’s hope I don’t get beheaded before that happens.
Tywin Lannister – Game of Thrones
At the other end of the spectrum is the imperious and ruthless Tywin Lannister. Obsessed with his legacy and improving the position of his family (rather than the actual people in his family), he makes his disdain for his children well-known. It’s safe to say they’re all pretty screwed up because of it.
Tywin expects his children to take up his mantle and dedicate everything to advancing the power of House Lannister. He has little care for their wishes or wellbeing. As far as he’s concerned, they ought to fall in line and shut up.
However, his kids eventually get sick and tired of his oppression.
Cersei, his scheming, beautiful but equally ruthless daughter, refuses his command to marry and threatens to reveal a sordid secret that would strip the Lannisters of the throne.
Her twin brother Jaime is also beautiful and gifted with extraordinary talents, but he doesn’t want to be burdened with responsibility. He only wants to shag his sister (who, to be fair, is stunning). Tywin effectively disowns him when he refuses to bow to pressure.
Finally, Tyrion, the wickedly intelligent, debauched yet good-hearted dwarf who in Tywin’s words is a ‘drunken little lust-filled beast’. In an unforgettable scene, Tywin’s hatred for him is revealed after Tyrion demands to become Tywin’s heir.
Tywin was the master of his own downfall, which comes about after he tries to have Tyrion executed. Jaime releases Tyrion, who then proceeds to stick Tywin with a couple of crossbow bolts while he’s visiting the privy.
Like Tywin, it’s easy to wish our kids were different when things aren’t going to plan.
Why can’t you just eat your food? Why can’t you go just go to sleep? Why can’t you just behave? Why can’t you just make my life easier?
But what damage might we do if we try too hard to change our kids, or don’t accept them for who they are? What problems might that lead to later down the line?
Tywin Lannister is on this list to serve as a warning – love your kids for who they are, or they might shoot you while you’re taking a shit.
There are hundreds more fictional dads who, in those little on-screen moments, make us stop and think, ‘Yeah, I get that’. Have you got any that you’d add to the list? Let me know.
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